DOGGY ICE CREAM SHOWDOWN: Who Filled It Best?

Written by: Loki the German Shepherd, Certified Good Boy

So, Dad rolls in the other day lookin’ like Santa Claus in July. Bags full of frozen doggy joy. Three boxes. Two brands. One me.

What followed was not just a treat session. It was a battle. A cold war, if you will.

Let’s get into it.

Contender 1: Dogsters

First impression: full to the brim. Like, not even joking — it was packed tighter than the time I tried to fit into Dad’s lap during movie night. No weird ice chunks, no air pockets, no disappointment. Just thick, creamy, cheesy bac’n heaven.

The smell? Unreal. Like Dad dropped a cheeseburger in a fryer then kissed it with bacon grease. I snorted it like it was a job.

The taste? Rich. Smooth. Meaty. My tongue was working overtime. By the end, I was licking the plastic like there was a code to crack.

Fill Rating: 100%
Taste Rating: 12/10 would bark again
Emotional Damage When It Was Gone: Severe

Contender 2: Purina Frosty Paws

Alright, so Purina stepped up with their little decorated cup and fancy vanilla flavor. Sounds classy. Maybe too classy.

I popped the lid off and… excuse me?
This thing was HALF FULL. Like someone at the factory got bored halfway through the pour and said “eh, dogs won’t notice.”

Well guess what? I NOTICED.

Visually disappointing. Flavor was okay—smooth and sweet, but not meaty. It gave me spa day energy, not treat-yourself energy.

Fill Rating: 50% and that’s generous
Taste Rating: 7/10 – nice, but felt like diet ice cream
Trust Issues Afterward: Activated

THE FINAL VERDICT: DOGSTERS WINS

Dogsters didn’t just win. They DOMINATED.
They filled the cup like they respect me. Like they understand I’m a growing boy who needs real portions. Purina? They gave me a snack-sized sadness and hoped I wouldn’t notice.

So here’s my message to the folks at Purina:

Step it up.
If you’re gonna call it a “treat,” fill the cup like you mean it. I got a big snout and big feelings. Don’t play me like that.

Loki’s Official Rankings:

Final Thought:
If it’s a hot day and Dad says, “Wanna treat?” I’m pointing my snout at the orange box every time.

– Loki, King of Crunchies, Slayer of Scoops, Ice Cream Judge for Life